The First Meeting

I don’t think I’ve felt this nervous in a while.

This week consisted of my first thesis committee meeting. The process of getting to that point was nevertheless chaotic. I found myself scrambling to get committee members and seeking approval. While I started searching for members over the summer, I found that I was still pressed for time. I thought I would have had a set list by the time school started but it wasn’t the case, I only had one approval. As the school year started, I began to get concerned; I felt as if I was unprepared. I stopped by teacher’s rooms only to find that they were in a class or weren’t there. I checked my inbox and spam multiple times a day hoping that I would get a response. While it took two weeks more than I expected, I finally got all five of my committee members.

Let’s just say that it didn’t remain true for long.

One morning as I walked into the library half asleep as always, I heard a peer talking about committee members. I could sense that there was some issue going on, but I didn’t pay close attention. Later in the day I arrived for my Help Desk block, more alert this time. As I entered the room and situated myself, I was told that overlap in the committees weren’t allowed. I swear my heart stopped at that moment, I knew I had overlapped with someone else. This put me down to three committee members. Two of the three said yes but wanted to talk with me, leaving only one confirmed. While I had no problem going out and finding substitutes, I needed a confirmation the next day. I tried so hard to hold tears back as I was consumed by stress, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to get a confirmation in less than 24 hours. Thankfully, I was able to get at one yes towards the end of the next school day. Two days later, I got my fifth member.

Even after, there were changes made. I mean changes up to two hours before the meeting occurred. Despite all of the stress and chaos this process ensued, I felt as if I had created a well rounded committee. Even if it wasn’t what I originally planned, I was happy, I couldn’t wait to get started.

Let’s focus on the meeting date now. I was torn between the feeling of excitement that it was actually happening and pure nervousness. As I approached the library, I contemplated entering the library classroom. I couldn’t believe that it was happening. As I began to talk, I felt as if the weight was slowly lifting off of my shoulders. I began to be at ease as the discussion progressed. I could sense the curiosity and eagerness to be on the committee. One of the biggest realizations I had during the meeting was that this was their first time doing anything like this, all of them didn’t even write a thesis. While they were there to support me in this journey, I realized I was there to support them as they navigate the role of being a committee member. Understanding this I think drew us closer as a committee.

Based on the first meeting, I honestly can’t wait to work these individuals. I have immense respect for all of my committee members and value the insight that they bring to the table. While this year might get chaotic at times, I know that I have a group of teachers that are there to support me and help me progress through the year.